Saturday, April 22, 2006

當老師的喜與憂

昨天中午在學校裡遇到兩年前我第一個學期教中文時的學生。他正好在到處拉人連署要保護加州的森林,我問了一下他在幹麼,就順道也簽名連署了。這個學生的中文很不錯,那時候是高級中文的閱讀和寫作課,他的每篇作文都寫得滿用心的,我不確定他有沒有家教幫忙潤稿過,總之寫得比其他ABC的同學還流暢。只是口語上顯得比較吃力,停頓稍微多一點。但是他去年一年在北京的北大上學,明顯進步了很多。他跟我說他也想當TA教中文,可是東亞系不肯讓大學部的學生當TA。"我同學說上學期有個白人教他們中文,他連話都說不標準!"他跟我這麼說,"如果他也可以教的話,我也可以!" (這位同學也是個白人)。

我聽了倒是為這位老師感到很可憐。我可以体會那種不是教自己的母語的老師,真的需要有兩把刷子才行。當然語言能力一定要有某種程度,可是好像不管再怎麼努力,這種"non-native"的標籤總是如影隨形。因為同時教中文和ESL的緣故,我對這個議題有很多的体會。並不是因為中文是我的母語,我就能夠教得好的。那些非中國/台灣人的中文助教其實可以教得比我們還好。因為他們很了解學習的過程,也因為不是母語,語法變得很好。像好多次我就被同學問倒了…"老師,為什麼我有的時候加'了', 有的時候不加'了'"…"為什麼我可以說,'功課我做好了' 但是不能說'坐地鐵或坐汽車我可以去UCLA'"

但是當我教英文的時候,面臨的又是另一種考驗。除了要特別注意自己講的語法正確以外,還要常常面對自信心的問題,擔心學生怎麼看一個non-native的老師,煩惱自己要帶給學生什麼東西。實習的時候我最擔心的是自己說話語法錯誤自己沒注意到。也許是因為語言學的訓練,對英文的語法特別在意。不過也不只是我這樣子,好像同學裡不少人都會滿在意的。我最常注意到的是自己講出來之後,馬上發現用錯了,又再self-correct再講一遍。不過這都是發生在電光火石之間,只是每次一講出來,就覺得很懊惱,為什麼我的嘴巴比我的腦子還要快,明明知道該怎麼說,可是一講出來卻和想的不一樣。我的老師來看過我實習,她是認為我就算講錯,也會很快馬上更正,基本上問題不大。但是我的懊惱還是在啊…

星期四的時候在路上巧遇我ESL的學生。她是德國人,先生來美國做研究,她跟著來當F2。在我班上她非常活潑,也很會說話。我每次都很感謝她打破同學尷尬的沈默,第一個開口發言。聊了一下,她突然說,"我覺得妳是個很好的老師喔!妳真的很用心。"我一聽眼淚都要掉下來了啊~~~

新老師真是種脆弱的動物啊…每個星期office hour沒學生出現問問題,跟我練中文,我已經在擔心是不是被同學討厭。其實沒人出現的話,我就可以做自己的事情,可是…"同學們,我真心的歡迎各位來辦公室跟老師聊天啊~~~" (心裡的獨白)

Friday, April 21, 2006

some thoughts on second language acquistion

L1 Tansfer, Phonological Working Memory in Predicting L2A, and Lingusitic Knowledge in General"

I have been reading some language acquistion articles about the concept of "working memory". The definition of this term by different people is a chaos, which I don't intend to tackle. But they all point to similar directions:

First, one's native language ability, whether literacy, or some kinda linguistic knowledge (e.g. vacabulary, the "legal" combination of phonemes in a word", reading or listening comeprehension) will affect his/her learning a foreign language.

Specifically, if this ability is tested under a short-term memory based test, (like a reading span test, listening span test, or word digit test in which the subjects were asked to recall words, answer comprehension questions, etc.) the test result usually correlates with one's performance on foreign language learning. It might look obvious to link these working memory tasks to linguistic performance because the these working memory tasks are designed to tesk some parts of one's language ability, and is done through the medium of language. Therefore, if one has high literacy/reading comprehension in L1, they tend to have better performance on L2 than those with low performance on literacy/reading comprehension/working memory tests.


Second, the short-term memory performance can be disrrupted, or inhanced with different techniques. For example, making the subject tap the table while listening or reading to learn a new foreign vocabulary can intervene subjects' learning. On the contrary, if the subjects read outloud the foreign words, they can remember more than just reading the words silently. To strech further from the working memory tasks themselves, some study found "noticing" has some correlation with high/low working memory capacity.

If I were to put a conclusion from what I have read, it seemed that linguistic knowledge, whether first or second language, has such an interrelated relationship. This is obvious through our world experiences, because we can easily find your L1 transfer, whether negative or positive, is affecting one's foreign language learning. We all draw references from something we already knew. But this interconnected linguistic knowledge still puzzles me. What would be the representaion of linguistic knowledge in the brain? Will it be just like other representations of the world?
Think of a word that you learned in a foreign language. You might be able to remember the episodic event relating to the context you learn the word. Or even your feelings, emotions, etc. Perhaps language is just like other constructive blocks that build up our cognition, our world, is like an association network, with different nodes (meaning, usage, episodic memory, emotions, etc.).

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Second/third week of teaching

I can't believe that I made it through the second/third week of teaching. I still have a lot to improve with my teaching, but I can feel that I'm gradually settling into some pattern. This might be good and bad at the same time. For one thing I don't want to be so panic and spend hours and hours preparing a one hour lessen. For another I don't want to be content with one certain type of teaching method either.

For my ESL class, it's like an experiment every week. I feel like I have so many ideas about what I can teach, but when it comes to implementing the ideas on the typed-out lessen plan, they all look kinda disoriented and pointless. My Chinese class doesn't take that much planning, for the content and materials are set already. The most challenging part is to come up with some ways to present the content without making them feel bored. It's a 9am class, and I am a student so I understand how hard it is to get your butt moving. I wouldn't want to be there if I were not the teacher!!!!

Things I am working on:
I'm not a very assertive person. I realize that my directions sometimes don't sound assertive enough for students to do their pair work. Another thing is the anxiety of introducing all of the vocabulary to my ESL students. I still haven't quite figured out how to use a reading to teach integrated skills (speaking, reading, and listening).

Things that work/I'm so proud of myself:
Monday I alomst pissed my pants when I found that I left my teaching material on my desk before I left. I was totally panicking for 5 minutes, (I wonder if students ever found out about this). then I decided that I will just give them the scheduled test, and then a task from their workbook.

While the students are working on their workbook, I quickly write out the patterns for drills on the board. It happends that students stumbled on one structure a lot, so I spent sometime making them practice the patterns on the board. and phew...it was the whole 50-min class. I would never let things like this happen again. Double check before you leave is always a safe thing to do.

Today I made my ESL students play a game as an ice breaker. Each person got a name stuck on their back, and they have to find out who that name was by asking other classmates Y/N questions. I had names like Arnold Schwazeneggar, Mother Teresa, Jesus, and Napoleon, etc. The game turned out to be a success. The students really enjoyed it partly because it's really fun to see someone's puzzled face but you already knew the answer.

Anyways, I guess I should stop blogging and go back to my thesis writing.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Thoughts on using literature in ESL classrooms

References:
Gajdusek, L (1988). "Toward wider use of literature in ESL: How and why." TESOL Quarterly, 22, 227-258.
McKay, L. S. (2001). Literature as content for ESL/EFL. in Celce-Murcia(ed.), Teaching English as a Second of Foreign Language. United States: Dewey Publlishing Services.



I really like Gajdusek's article, which shows how using literature can actually be done in an ESL classroom. For me one of the most impressive take-home that I learned is the pre-reading vocabulary work. I think from a student's perspective, unknown or unfamiliar vocabulary is one source that might cause "anxiety" when reading in a foreign language. Unlike reading in native languages, students don't have linguistic or cultural resource to grasp onto, the tolerance for ambiguities or unresolved meaning is comparatively low. As for the teacher, he/she might get too eager about solving students' vocab problems so that they can get into the deeper discussion. As a result, both sides might lose sight that vocabulary actually has different valences in their function in an article. It's an important thing not just for teachers to distinguish the types of vocabulary (e.g. context, vital clue, and category), but also for students to see these different levels of dealing with unfamiliar words. I think it's a good strategy for students to overcome the anxiety of encountering new words, knowing that they don't have to stop every time and look them up in the dictionary in order to understand a text.

Another take-home message I got from the week is Mckay's perspective on cultural learning through literature. In her perspective, "...the ultimate goal of cultural learning is not to convey information about a culture nor to promote the acquisition of culturally influenced ways of behaving, but rather to help learners see their culture in relation to others so as to promote cross-cultural understanding."

As a non-native Englisn speaker, teaching the target culture is something that brings me anxiety and self-consciousness. If teaching culture means direct transmission, then I am definitely in an awkward position. Since I'm not from the culture, what can I offer to my students? What kinda role should I take in between the target culture and language and the students? As I take the stand with my students as an outsiders, am I perpetuating my perspective/stereotypes on the target culture to my students?

I haven't totally resolved these questions yet. But at least I feel a
little bit relieved after reading Mckay's perspective on developing
students' cultural awareness. It's not about transplanting a culture
into someone's head, but about showing students how their own cultures
can be connected with others by exploring cultures.

Monday, April 03, 2006

開學

從小我就怕開學。

雖然開學意味著可以見到久未見面的同學,或是認識新同學,但是從小時候就建立起來的潛意識總是讓我不知為何非常緊張。我記得小時候的焦慮是老師點名時不知道該怎麼回應。因為從小學到初中,沒有一位老師把我的名字可以第一次就念對的。他們老是把我的"玟"念成"玫"。又因為那個年代老師總是高高在上,我又很害怕去糾正老師,所以我一直很討厭開學的點名。到了高中,不知是老師的水平都比較好了,還是我的名字裡的"玟"變得比較常見了,幾乎沒有老師念錯了,這倒讓我鬆了一口氣。但是到了大學,我又開始怕開學。大學裡面選課說是自由,但是能不能加選還是要看教授。有的時候我的焦慮是好課太多,加上我的興趣有點雜,到處聽了一圈回來,不知道到底要選A課好,還是B課好?每次排課表就要煩惱好久,直到加退選結束後才又恢復平靜。
現在到了研究所,選擇稍微少了一點,加上時間有限,除非真的跟我的專業有關,不然我已經不敢再去修一些有的沒有的電影藝術等課了。因此選課的煩惱少了許多。


但是這學期開學,我不知為何又開始緊張了。過去一年多的生活忙怕了,我想到去年同一個時候幾乎每個學期都修四堂課,趕報告趕得像瘋子一樣,我就會打哆嗦。這學期雖然只修一門課,但是有論文的壓力,再加上兩門課的教課壓力,昨天晚上想起這些,一邊準備第一天教中文的教材,一邊就覺得淚眼盈眶…~~~~>__<~~~~

我今天早上九點鐘的中文課是我開學的第一堂課。我自己都不想這麼早上學了,更何況是我的學生! 唉…

雖然不是第一次站在台上教書了,簡單的教案也寫了,但是我還是非常非常的緊張。六點半我就一身汗的驚醒。同學陸續來的時候,我焦慮到只能低頭看我的紙,或是轉身寫板書。最可怕的是,因為九點鐘課還滿早的,我問問題的時候,班上鴉雀無聲,如果我是學生的話,一定呈呆滯狀態,但是我是老師,必須打起精神來裝活潑!所以我叫學生把桌椅排成馬蹄型,讓學生玩了個小遊戲讓他們練習認識彼此的名字。被點到名字的同學,他的左右兩邊的同學要起立。

玩了一下子,好像稍微讓我比較不緊張了(原來玩遊戲的目的是讓老師不要太緊張以免昏倒不能上課),我才開始我的教學。教的東西教授已經準備好了,不可多教,也不可少教,但是呈現的方法各有巧妙不同。

我發現班上有些同學,當我請他們搬椅子的時候,不是很能了解我的中文。也許是我的指令不夠清楚。我知道我說話有點像含在嘴裡,或是連在一起,不知道是否是台式中文的影響。我現在開始知道要注意一些我們台灣人不會發輕聲,但是大陸的中文會發輕聲的字。比如說,"便宜"的宜,"衣服"的服之類的。有時候我在想這到底有什麼重要的,只不過是dialect的差異而已。就像我們學英文也不是很在乎"caught"和"ought"的母音是不是有分別,加州的英文念起來是一樣的,但是中西部就會區分。但是很多學生也許目標是學習中文以後到中國去,那麼也許教給他們課本上的發音就很重要了。


天,我真不敢相信我今天教了我開學以來的第一堂課,而沒有緊張到昏倒。我只希望我會越教越好。
天啊,下星期我就要開始教英文會話班了…不知不覺中好像往語言教育的路子上走了。